Gasping for Air

Survival of the Fittest:
The mom with the most kids in timeout wins.
Tonight at the swim pool one of my sons jumped upon a smaller son and held him underwater, not letting him rise to catch his breath. It's so ironic that the smaller son, who can hold his breath for probably 20 seconds while swimming the freestyle, can not even hold his breath at all when being forced upon by the larger boy.
Needless to say, the dunking ended our swimming adventure, for the dunker refused to take a 5 min. timeout for dunking, calling me a few choice words in the process and yelling about how mean I am, leaving me not option but to end the outing as a result of his most obvious defiance. As I closed the pool cover, he continued to add to his defiant heap of comments, resulting in more discipline measures to be taken by me until we finally got home and I sent him, very angrily, to his room to keep him safe from the violent urges that were brewing within me!
It occurred to me that my reaction was similar to the younger son's reaction to the dunking. If I am prepared in advance for the defiant behavior, I can pace myself to endure it gracefully just the way my young son can hold his breath when he races in the pool. However, if I am "dunked without warning," leaving me no option about dealing with an immediate issue, with no time to plan ahead and no time to relax and gear up for the ride, I can easily fill up with the same panic that my young son had when his brother was holding him under the water, away from the air. I feel as if I flailed my arms wildly through this episode of defiance today, kicking and clawing for the surface. And to be so harshly attacked by my defiant son made me to feel that he was indeed holding me under the water, where my lifeline, air, was out of my reach.
So now, as he sleeps, I breathe again. A new day begins tomorrow, and we'll both try again.